so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
