bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
