Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
