Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
