Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
