My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
