my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize