My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
