Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
