Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
