I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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