yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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