C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
