Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
