you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
