dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
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oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
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I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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