So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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