Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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