new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
