yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
