Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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