Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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