i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
