remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize