"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
