why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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