At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
