can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
