Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
