Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
