No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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