RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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