We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Send help, water and tortillas.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
