I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The adults are the big ones right?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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