Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
