dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
