we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
