somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
