All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
