maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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