I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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