No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
