We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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