Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
