So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
