the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I have fence marks all over my body
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
