who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
