Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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