Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
