I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
my liver is dry heaving
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
