Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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