In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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