I showed him my bush... on skype.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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