What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
