idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
What drink are we having for lunch?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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