did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
