My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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