Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
