good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize