guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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