i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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