it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I AM VODKA MAN
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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